Saturday, November 14, 2015

STASHERS & CRASHERS

It was a sun-drenched day I, my family members were profoundly dressed. We were all of us at a wedding lunch. The reception was just started. The bride was splendid in silk sari and heavy gold jewellery, shone with inner joy, as the young couple greeted guests that were still coming in.

It was one of the long-established sit down dinners in Karwar, Karnataka, where we sit facing each other in long, unending rows. The food came thick and fast, sometimes too fast to stop a dish from landing on my banana leaf. I hate waste and kept looking out for the men who were serving us to warn them to keep their servings small.

It was at one such jiffy that my eye caught sight of the act. I saw a hand reach out and pick the large sweet from the leaf in front of its owner, and ferret it away into a voluminous bag in her lap.

I looked up and was going to call out. But I stopped myself, just in time.

A young girl opposite me had seen me watching and her eyes amplify in fear, and then cloud over. The lady I had seen was evidently her mother. The lady was still immersed in placing the sweet in a careful manner so as not to smash it. I sensed the girl’s humiliation at the fact that her mother had been caught doing something that made her seem lesser than all the others present, and looked away swiftly, concentrating on the food on my plate.

In time, stole another look. The mother was simply dressed in a plain silk sari. She wore no jewellery except a thin gold chain around her neck, a couple of thin gold bangle on one hand and a small watch on the other. The girl dressed in a cotton salwar- kameez, neat hair pinned to her oiled head, and hanging in plaits on either side of her face. On the other side of the mother, was another, much younger girl in a red frock, eating with concentration of the very young. The trio was very out of the place in that mixed jamboree. But, somehow, I was sure they were not gate- crashers. Yet, the action of the mother told me a story.

Her looks, her manner of dress, all pointed out to some silent struggle that her life must be, with two young girls under care.

The absence of a man in the group could mean he was dead, for the reason that a married Hindu female wears Mangalsutra. The food she was stashing away could be for their next meal.

I noticed, as the meal progressed, that she leaned across and picked out the uneaten puri from the younger girl’s leaf and placed them into her bag, too.

I was really glad I had not given in to my initial impulse. Drawing attention to the act would have given me and my cousins a few moments of discussions and levity, but could have done long standing damage to the woman and her family. And, anyway, food stashers are not such and uncommon lot. I have seen well off women, in jewellery and makeup, stash way cheese and fruit from buffet tables. Some of the most practiced shoplifters are women who can well afford to buy what they steal.

The woman in front of me was at least only taking away what she could not eat. Her eyes were guiltless and I am sure she would never be tempted to take something that was not really her right. Necessity, not voracity, was her motivation in this case.

I smiled at that girl as I got up to leave, hoping to commune some of the warmth and empathy I felt for her mother and her family to her. But, of course, she did not smile back. As I passed the rows of recently emptied chairs, I saw their occupants had left behind substantial amounts of food.

The rich, sweet, especially, sat forlorn and abandoned. Soon, the cleaning man would come with his bucket and sweep everything away to be thrown out, before out, before the table could be readied for the next set.

I thought of the woman at home, carefully taking out her swag. And wished we could share more readily what we do not want.


#beingrutujaa

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